The Eye of the Beholder...

CONNIE

HELLO GENTLE READERS,

I had a friend, Consuela, who had a habit of judging people by their appearance. At work, shopping or just about town she was always commenting on the looks of others. Her shoes didn't match her dress, his nose is too big or remind me never to use her hair stylist, she'd say. I must say that Connie always dressed to the nines, which enhanced her own natural beauty.

Nobody I know took more pains with their own appearance. I don't know, maybe it made Connie feel better about her own flaws. Whatever the reason, she spent energy pointing out the shortcomings of others.

One day, while exiting Wal Mart, Connie saw an old acquaintance, Lucy, in the parking lot. Lucy, as usual, was disheveled. Her blouse didn't match her pants, her hair looked as though it had been combed with a weedeater and one shoe was untied. Connie thought to herself, "If I could just spend a week with that girl, she could be quite attractive"!

They exchanged pleasantries and as Connie was walking away the heel on her shoe broke and she hit the pavement like a sack of potatos. There she sat, in an oil stain, with a rapidly swelling ankle. Lucy looked back once and continued to walk away. Dazed and embarrassed, Connie picked herself up and hobbled to a nearby bench, all the while wondering why Lucy didn't come to her aid.

As Connie plopped down on the bench, shoe broken, ankle swollen, dress oil-stained, covered with sweat and hair mussed, she noticed an old man and his dog at the other end of the bench. Not just any dog, though. This was the ass-ugliest dog she'd ever seen. It had one blue eye, the other brown, knobby-knees, warts with hair bristling, patches of fur missing and a very scraggly tail. This dog was a trainload of ugly; a repulsive, slobbering mound of DNA gone very, very wrong.

"Opium", the man said. "I beg your pardon", Connie haughitly retorted! "Opium. Your perfume is Opium, if I'm not mistaken", the man answered. "Why, yes. It is. You must have a very good nose", said a surprised Connie. "Well, God giveth and God taketh", he offered. "What do you think of my dog, Suzie", the man asked? "Isn't she a beauty, the man inquired? Connie sat in stunned silence contemplating this tail-wagging, year's worth of ugly. "We've been together six years now. Best friend I ever had", the man reported. "Well, it's about time for lunch. Nice to have met you", the blind man said as he picked up his cane, gathered Suzie's harness and walked toward home.....

Tom Vickers