ONE MAN'S SHEEP, ANOTHER MAN'S PROM DATE!
HELLO GENTLE READERS,
I lived in Charlotte, NC for a number of years and, for a city, it's not that bad. They do, however, have a number of ordinances that one must get used to. For example, you can't buy beer on Sundays until noon. This barely gives Charlotteans time to get home from Church, snag a 12-pack of Lite and get home in time to watch the Carolina Panthers play. Believe me, you can't watch their recent teams play without vast quantities of either ethel alcohol or Schedule III Pharmaceuticals. You can, however, make U-Turns into traffic at will. I have the scars to prove it.
Passing some ordinances did pose some problems for Charlotte's genteel City Council. It's a matter of language. The "Porn Wars" episode highlighted this. How do you define Porn? According to the City Fathers, "Porn is something which is indecent when, under current community standards, it is patently offensive." What? What did they say? Under this defination, Spongebob Squarepants could (and, probably should) be banned! This defination was agreed to after the City Council tried to list specific sex acts, movies, books (so long Catcher in the Rye), pictures, sex toys and the like to be banned. More than once, City Councilman Don Reid, the moral flag-bearer, said, "We just don't use that kind of language here!" Of course, Don once tried to get the advertising of feminine hygiene products banned from local Broadcast TV.
By God, censorship in the name of good, wholesome living will keep the Larry Flint types out of The Queen City! Now the Porn crowd will have to drive to the burbs.
Tom Vickers
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