MARS CYDONIAN MYSTERY SOLVED!
SURBURBAN CYDONIA
HELLO GENTLE READERS,
Ever since that fateful Mariner Mission beamed back those intriguing pictures from Cydonia, Mars, Nasa has had some 'splainin' to do. How do you 'splain away a monumental face, a pyramid and a temple complex? "It's a play of light and shadows", they tell us. Where have we heard this before? Oh yeah, Project Blue Book! Was that book really blue? Noooo! Not much credibility there, huh? Well, the following information will clear this up and put the Wormwood back in your Absinthe!
It is not, I repeat, not a temple complex! It's a strip mall! As far as we know the Solar System's first. While it may take a manned mission to determine what stores the Martians favored, we can certainly make some educated guesses. Of course, it must have a Starbuck's. And, no strip mall would be complete without a Nail Salon, Dollar Tree, Barnes & Noble and a detached McDonalds. And since one must assume that Martians also love to "Roll Back Prices", the anchor store is probably a Wal Mart. What about the face, you ask? It may be the archiac version of a Chucky Cheese. Yes, life really is a circle.
My hope is that when we finally step foot on Cydonia, we are able to find the Martian "Rosetta Stone". My advice is to find the YOU ARE HERE sign and take it from there.
Tom Vickers
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mikelclassen on
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If you look between the face and the Tholius, Next to the big square, the upper right of the oddshaped thing is another large face that looks a lot like "Hitman. I'm guessing this was the arcade. I'm serious, cock your head a bit there's a great face there. This is fun, What else can we find? |
