Marijuana Chia Pets...As Seen On TV!

HELLO GENTLE READERS,

It's something I've been thinking about for quite some time now. How do I break into the highly lucrative AS SEEN ON TV market? It seems like a pretty good gig; invent something, pimp it on TV and earn the equivalent of Peru's National Debt.

What to invent? A telescoping fishing rod? Nope, it's been done. Maybe a turbo-charged Rascal Wheelchair? Well, it sure would make trips to the mall more interesting but, there are liability issues. Wait! I've got it! A Marijuana Chia Pet! Yes, this is the idea I've been waiting for! Oh Tom, go ahead and place the order on that new Rolls Royce!

I can hear Ed McMahon hawking it now. "Friends, have you always wanted to grow things but, you just don't have a green thumb? If the answer is yes, then you owe it to yourself to stay tuned for this offer. How much would you expect to pay for this adorable item? $100.00? $50.00? NO!! For the small sum of $19.95 plus shipping and handling we will send you our signature Bob Marley Marijuana Chia Pet! It's so simple that even a Baby Boomer can make it blossom. Just add water and watch it grow. It's bound to be the centerpiece at your next party. Everybody will love it! Think, just $19.95! BUT WAIT! If you call within the next ten minutes we'll also include a lifetime supply of 'Zig-Zag' papers. You need only pay for shipping. Supplies are limited so, please go to your phone right now. Just call the number at the bottom of your screen. Operators are standing by. Or, you can visit our Website at bong.com. You won't be sorry".

(Void where prohibited. Consumer must pay all applicable taxes. Offer not valid in Iowa or New Hampshire.)

My next project--Dehydrated Water. Dude, don't, like, Bogart the Chia.