MIXED MARTIAL ARTS SPELLING BEE!

HELLO GENTLE READERS,

Well, once again the Olympic season is upon us. I'm always interested to find out what new, obscure sport will be foisted on us in Living Color and tape delay. Curling and Rhythmic Gymnastics are two events that have filtered into our living rooms over the years. I can tell you, these were not popular sports to we folks growing up at Cabin Creek, WV. The closest thing we saw to Rhythmic Gymnastics was Earl "Eightball" Carver drunkenly dodging the coal train. So, in the spirit of broadening our sports viewing experience, I'm proposing a new event for future Olympiads; the Mixed Martial Arts Spelling Bee.

This would be a very interesting combination of brawn and brains. The early rounds of the event would be decided by having to spell all the items on a Starbuck's menu. This will narrow the field down to the final rounds. The remaining contestants will fight it out in a "Toughman Cage" to determine the medal winners. Come to think of it, nobody can spell all the items on a Starbuck's menu. Perhaps they can spell medical terms or the names of Eastern European countries. It could be worked out.

Yes, I think the entire world would enjoy seeing the "best and brightest" scholars beat the snot out of each other in a cage. I know I would. Wouldn't you?

Next -- 12-Pack Pole Vaulting.

Tom Vickers