OLEO LORDY ME!

HELLO GENTLE READERS:

I take a daily Lipitor tablet the size of Marlin Brando at his death but, still have to watch my diet. I have a cholesterol "issue" so, I try to be careful of my eating habits. This isn't easy for me. I'm a Baby Boomer (you know, no childhood memories--only flashbacks) and was raised on real butter.

My parents had to make do with Oleo (the brand name of that era's fake butter) during WWII. Dad said he'd rather eat axle grease so, we always had real butter on the table. I love real butter. So sweet and creamy in your mouth. So tasty on a piece of toast, a bagel or an English Muffin (they talk funny, don't they?).

After seeing the price of Lipitor, I really tried to engage in a "cholesterol regimen". Among other things, I switched over to an Oleo-style butter. Just when I was making peace with my new food lubricant, the "Trans-Fatty-Acid-Gestapo" showed up in riot gear! Oleo type butters may be more of a health hazard than real butter. Damn! I told myself, "Tom, this is America. Somebody will invent something (and the Japanese will make it fit in your watch pocket) to take the place of "fake" butter." Somebody did! Have you ever tastd Promise? Yuck!! Fake "fake" butter! It's awful! I think the ingredients are Acid Rainwater and Yellow Dye #4. Bread soaks up this stuff like a sponge in a hurricane. If you don't eat your toast in 31 nano-seconds, go ahead and pour it down the sink.

Oleo Lordy me!

Tom Vickers