"The Emporium Strikes Back" (Aliens Have No Style)
DATELINE ELKVIEW, WV:
In a dramatic moment today, Martha Stewart, "Homemaker Expert and Prison Decorator" was returned to earth. She appeared in a flash of light and was gently dropped down to the Elkview, WV K-Mart. Martha, in her typical fashion, didn't have a hair out of place.
K-Mart officials said that in a trade for Martha certain things were exchanged. The Aliens are to receive discounts on all generic products carried by K-Mart and Stock tips from Martha. "It was an exhausting negotiation," said one official. "They wanted name brands but, we held out!"
Martha, in her press release, said, "That spaceship was a pigsty! it looks much better now. It just needed a Decorator's touch!"
Welcome back, Martha.
Tom Vickers
Leave a Comment
mikelclassen on
I wonder if this was related to what's going on in Texas. At least they could have gotten free parking in Stephenville.
yogamommy on
did she come home with an alien made pretty shawl/poncho like she did when she got home from prison?
tvsgweblog on
Mikel,
No relationship to the Stephensville aliens. Well, maybe distant cousins.
Yoga,
No "poncho" but, the Aliens did take some Martha Stewart sheets and pillow cases back with them.
