Martha Stewart Abducted By Aliens! (K-Mart Aghast)
DATELINE NEW YORK:
A report off the wires today state that Martha Stewart, Household Diva, saavy investor and convicted felon, was abducted by aliens. "It happened so fast! In broadlight, too!", said Ms. Betty Fair, a witness to the event. "Martha was coming out of her Broker's Office and was sucked up by a bright light! It was awful! I need to lie down!", she continued.
K-Mart officials said everything humanly possible will be done to get Martha back. "What do you want? Discounts or coupons, what? We can work it out! Please return Martha!", said one K-Mart official.
We will keep you updated.
Tom Vickers
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